There are some simple yet creative ways to ask your best friends to be in your wedding. Here are some examples of the best ideas we have seen.
8 Tips for How to Give the Best Best Man Speech… and a Best Man Speech Outline!
The moment has arrived. Your palms are sweaty. The microphone is ready to slip from your hand. You feel flustered, anxious, and nearly panicked in your rented tuxedo.
You open your mouth and realize you can’t remember your speech. Not a word of it. It’s one of the biggest days of your best friend’s life and you can’t remember all the nice stuff you had planned to say about him.
Or, even worse, you open your mouth and give the worst speech imaginable. The bride weeps, the groom clenches his fists, and you get booed off the stage.
Worst case scenario, right? But it doesn’t have to be this way. We’re here to help you avoid the unmitigated disaster that your best man speech could be. Now, let’s cover the many Don’ts and several Do’s of giving the best Best Man speech you can.
Don’t Wing Your Best Man Speech
You might be the most charming man alive. The funniest, handsomest, most confident guy on the planet.
But for a best man speech, that’s not good enough. You’re not charming enough to carry this thing without writing it down ahead of time. You’re not Matthew McConaughey in a Lincoln commercial. (Unless you are. In which case, thanks for reading, Matthew!)
Don’t Make it About Yourself
Yes, you should be sure to introduce yourself, but this speech is about the relationship between the happy couple. Not about the relationship between you and the groom. Remember that speech Mitch gave in Old School? The one about his girlfriend cheating on him? Yeah, don’t give that speech.
Don’t Tell Mean-Spirited Jokes
This isn’t a roast of the groom. Even if he has thick skin, the rest of the room could still get offended if you go after him too hard. Go easy on the guy.
And please, don’t make ANY jokes at the expense of the bride, her bridesmaids, or any family members. You should compliment the bride and gently rib the groom.
Don’t Write Your Best Man Speech on Your Phone
C’mon. Don’t be that guy. No one wants to look through their wedding photos and see that one of you squinting at your iPhone, trying to scan through it without dropping the mic. We’ve all been to that wedding. Either write it by hand ahead of time or even type it out and print it.
Don’t Be Inappropriate
Don’t drink too much. Don’t use profanity. Don’t tell an off-color joke.
If there’s one guarantee about weddings, it’s that both grandparents and young children will be in the room. Don’t say anything that will offend the masses.
Don’t Exclude Anyone in the Room
Don’t play to your base. You’re going to need to get the whole room laughing and crying. Cast a wide net with your stories. You get one inside joke, tops.
Don’t Talk About Ex-Girlfriends, Ex-Boyfriends, or Ex-Spouses
This one should not need to be said. But wow, people make this mistake a lot.
Don’t Forget to Practice
Practice in the mirror. Practice in the car on the way there. Run it past some friends. Share it with the other groomsmen. You only get one shot at this speech. Don’t blow it.
Still Stumped? Welp, Here’s a Best Man Speech Outline
We covered what not to do above. Now, here’s the most basic outline possible for your best man speech:
Introduce yourself: By now, they know you’re the best man. But why? Are you a brother? A college roommate? A best friend from childhood? What earned you this status?
- Make them laugh: Crack a gentle joke, early in the speech, that hurts zero feelings.
- Deliver the origin stories: You’ve already established how you know the groom. But you can dig a little deeper into your storied friendship, before launching into the tale of how he met his future wife. Recall how he first told you about her. How he introduced you. And how happy you could see they both were.
- Tell how their relationship has changed them both for the better: Because it has, or you wouldn’t be here.
- Get inspirational: Close with something big. A heavy-hitting quote. (Note that we have an article on our sister blog about inspiring marriage quotes, ready to help you out in a pinch.) Get those tears going.
Remember: open with a joke and close with a tear.
Was the above helpful? Did you get that speech written already? Reward yourself by buying a set of two engraved bullet whiskey glasses — one for you, one for the groom. You earned it, bud.
As every bride, groom, maid of honor, best man and Steve Martin can attest, planning a wedding is stressful. The good news is that you aren’t in this alone. A wedding is never a solo endeavor. At the very least, there’s at least one other person involved.
The bad news is that this wedding is going to cost some dough, including a few expenses you never considered. One of which is a gift for every last one of your groomsmen.
You might not even know about this tradition. There’s a chance you are sitting there asking yourself are groomsmen gifts seriously necessary? To which the answer is a resolute yes.
Now that you’ve accepted you are buying groomsmen gifts, you still have to determine how much to spend on these. Which means you’re currently asking yourself:
How Much Does a Typical Groomsmen Gift Cost?
It’s a valid inquiry, which demands to be answered with a series of additional insights. Here are a few personal questions to ask yourself before determining a dollar amount:
- Who are my groomsmen?
- How many groomsmen are in my wedding?
- How far did they travel to be here?
- Did they take vacation time to be here?
- How much did they spend on clothes?
- What other expenses did they have for this wedding?
We recommend considering each of these questions one at a time.
Who Are Your Groomsmen and How Many Are There?
The latter part of this question is easy. It’s quantifiable: How many are there? Is it just you and your best man? Or do you have 20 of your closet friends flanking you up the aisle?
If you only have a few groomsmen, this makes the position more significant and might require a higher investment for your gift. But if it’s a flock of fraternity brothers turning your groom’s suit into a mini-reunion, your best bet is probably something out of our Under $25 collection.
One more thing to keep in mind: you should also purchase gifts for your father, impending father-in-law, and any other close relatives, regardless of their status as groomsmen.
How Far Did Your Groomsmen Travel to be Here?
Is everyone from the same town as you? If so, that means the gifts can be less pricey and you don’t need to worry about transporting them. Knives and throwing stars are easier gifts when no one is getting on a plane the Sunday after the ceremony.
On the other hand, you might’ve just asked a bunch of guys from across the country to trek to Peoria for a long weekend. Or is this a destination wedding and you’ve got the whole gang flying out to Maui for 8 days?
The more expensive their travel, the more you should consider a pricier gift.
One last quick consideration related to travel: did people have to take vacation time from work to be here? If so, you want to make the gift a little spendier.
How Much Were the Groomsmen Outfits?
For some weddings, the only ask is that you show up in something other than denim. And hell, for some weddings denim is good enough.
However, you might have the crew wearing tailored suits or matching bow ties and cummerbunds. In that scenario, they could have spent over $200 on their clothes alone. The least you can do is reciprocate with a thoughtful gift.
What Other Expenses and Responsibilities Did Your Groomsmen Have For This Wedding?
It’s harsh to say, but some groomsmen are nothing more than another bud to balance out all the bridesmaids on the other side of the aisle.
But other groomsmen — especially the best man — are crucial entities, busy shepherding elderly guests to and from the airport. Some even tend bar! Others ensure the dance floor is packed at all times.
Give some thought to what “hidden fees” your groomsmen may be facing, before deciding on a final price.
Seriously, How Much Should I Spend on My Groomsmen?
Truth is, there is no silver bullet answer here. However, if you need a simple calculation, a safe equation is to buy groomsmen gifts that cost 20-25% of what your groomsmen spent on the wedding.
Some say $30 is the average and some say $50. As mentioned, you might want to spend a bit more on the dads and the best man, but keep it more or less within range. You don't want to get the best man a gift for $300 and your groomsmen gifts for $20.
You can go from under $20 to close to $100. Remember that it’s rare to spend more than $100 per groomsmen unless you’re very comfortable with that kind of money or you just really want to say thanks, pal.
Don’t Forget a Special Gift for the Best Man
Finally, remember that your best man is taking on a huge responsibility for your wedding. He’s giving a speech, trying not to lose your rings, and standing right next to you during the big moment. Consider giving your best man a special gift that really lets him know how much he means to you.
Guide To Groomsmen Gift Etiquette
Gift giving is usually stressful: what to get, how to give the gift, how much to spend, when to give the gift, or even whether you should get a gift at all. This can get even more complicated when it revolves around your wedding. But, thankfully, for weddings, there is a tried-and-true etiquette you can follow to make things simpler.
First of all, as the groom, you are responsible for getting gifts for the best man, the groomsmen, and any other male members of the wedding party, which might include the ring-bearer and the ushers, though that really depends.
There are a few reasons to give your wedding entourage gifts, not least of them being that you want to thank them for their help and support. But it’s also a memorable occasion - so giving them personalized gifts that remind them of your friendship during this big milestone in your life is your main goal.
There’s a little bit of hierarchy to gift giving: the gift you get for your best man should be something a little more special than what you get for the groomsmen, and the groomsmen’s gifts should be a little more special than what you get the ushers.
According to groomsmen gift etiquette best practices, you should give your groomsmen their gifts during your bachelor dinner or your rehearsal dinner. You can put them on the dinner table, in front of each recipient’s seat, or give them personally to each one. And, finally, what you get the groomsmen really depends on who they are and what you can afford. If you need a rough guideline for how much to spend on gifts, read this.
Make sure that the gifts are appropriate. For example, don’t get your vegetarian best man a fishing set, or your sober groomsmen a whiskey flask. Though these kinds of gifts can be really great for the right people, there are other types of gifts that are suitable for everyone, such as key chains, money clips, or pocketknives. For more inspiration, check out How To Shop For Every Type Of Groomsman.
Here are some suggestions for groomsmen gifts, according to price range.
Jump To Your Price Range
Groomsmen Gifts Under $25:
A Personalized Stainless Steel Bottle Opener in the size and shape of a credit card can fit in your groomsman’s wallet so he always has it handy when he needs it. You can personalize it with two lines so he will remember you whenever he uses it.
These Silver Round Beaded Personalized Cufflinks that you can personalize with a three initial monogram are another fail-safe gift you can get your groomsmen, or your best man.
And finally, this Personalized Stainless Steel Lock-Back Knife, packaged in a sleek tin box lined with custom foam, is always a favorite.
Groomsmen Gifts Under $50:
This Personalized Leather Wallet is also a money clip, making it one of the most practical groomsmen gifts you can get, but one that is also classy and valuable.
A Monogrammed Whiskey Glass Decanter can make for a very special and elegant memento, so long as the recipient of the gift is into whiskey in the first place. So, if you know your best man or groomsmen would love it, it could be the biggest hit yet.
A contemporary twist on a turn-of-the-century beauty: this Engraved Gunmetal Pocket Watch is the ultimate in men’s fashion swag, and it can also offer your groomsmen an alternative to constantly checking the time on their phones, which is not the most aesthetically-pleasing behavior during special moments, meetings, or other such events.
Groomsmen Gifts Under $100:
Though you can find gift sets for this price range, we want to give you some ideas for individual gifts for under $100. This Personalized Borello Leather and Canvas Tool Bag, for one, is perfect for any “handy” best man or groomsman. It has side pockets with a place for three initials, and ample storage inside the different pockets and compartments.
Another example is this DrinkTanks® 64 oz Insulated Growler made of stainless steel and with double wall vacuum insulation. The BPA free poly cap is secured by a sturdy dual-bail cap system that is leak-proof and keeps contents cold for 24+ hours and hot for 12+ hours. It’s perfect for groomsmen that are into going fishing or camping for a day.
This NFL Locker Room Canvas is a probably one of the most personalized gifts you can get for sports-enthusiasts, because you can choose the NFL teams you know they love, and you can add their names on the #1 Jerseys.
Groomsmen Gifts Over $100:
Now, just remember, on average, most grooms get groomsmen gifts between $20 and $50, so the only reason to buy expensive gifts is if a) you have the budget for it, and b) you really want to rather than feeling obliged to. And, again, you can find really cool sets for this price range that can cover gifts for all your buddies. But, here are a few individual gift ideas for over $100 a piece.
A Badger Hair Brush and Razor Shaving set, that can, of course, be personalized. Though reminiscent of a time long ago, the quality and technology of this set is state of the art, giving your groomsmen the closest shaves they can get.
This Personalized Waxed Canvas Duffle Bag is made in the USA. The materials used are high quality 20oz. waxed cotton canvas and solid brass and stainless-steel hardware. This is perfect for your friends that love to travel on the fly and need a bag that can look good while handling the strain. It comes in several different colors, such as charcoal, field tan, and blue.
Read our new 21 Best Groomsmen Gifts of 2019